i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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