Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
