im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was confusing and full of hummus
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Randomize
