i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
