How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
