She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
3pm strippers are depressing
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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