you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
