ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
