It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
