my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
