Don't you send me to vm
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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