I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
