Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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