I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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