I am in a vortex of obligation.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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