Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
