i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
