Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
