i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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