did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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