At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You have to summon your inner elephant
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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