so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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