I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Congratulations! We have a period
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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