Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
