I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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