Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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