Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You can't special order awesome
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just puked most of my soul out..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
