If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
