I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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