tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
