He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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