Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize