we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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