I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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