chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
