he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?