I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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