Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize