I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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