I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
