The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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