Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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