hotel room ftw
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize