it's like iHOP with fire
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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