So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize