did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
