I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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