she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
