it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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