Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
