well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
