I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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