I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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