I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
