I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
