I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
