The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
