Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
